Roller coaster

It seems to me that I have a type
It seems to me I've had this fight
It seems to me I've said these words
It seems to me I've been here before

While our affair was short and brief
Those memories I do keep
From the moment I first felt your lips
To the last time you traced your fingers over my hips

Your ups and downs flips and turns
My fast paced, crazy pace
Your bad habit of smoking that cancer stick
And my habit of burning herbs I wouldn't quit

But I've been here before
I've stood in this place
Although last time it was a different face

From telling me I played too many games
To telling you everything all my shame
To crying that night on your shoulder
And realizing I lost the control. It was over

I can pinpoint the exact moment I realized I wanted more
The exact moment I realized we'd never be the same
The moment I realized I was sure
That moment I felt so much shame

For the way I treated you the whole summer
That night I looked at you and I knew
I wanted nothing more for you to kiss me. Love me.
I wanted that the whole night.
And I wasn't sure what would happen next but I knew I wanted more
With inhibition lowered from all that liquid courage
I wanted you to stay the night, let you in, stay the night
It all happened so fast I wasn't thinking
That to you maybe
It was different.

Maybe for you it was just another time we fucked
And that's. it's through
Maybe for you the stars weren't aligned
There was no shimmer in my eyes
Maybe for you holding me
Tracing the curves of my body
Just meant nothing.

Maybe for you, it wasn't much
But I know for a fact this something.

She can still taste my name on your tongue
Because that's who you are.
You run away because you cared too much
I'm a flight risk. Is what you said once.
She's safe. she loves you. She's fought for you in the past.
And I walked away told you I wouldn't wait.
Even though the whole summer you waited for me
I know she's worried you'll just come back
You think about me too much

She's tasting me on your tongue
My name leaves her a bad taste
You wish you were holding me
Instead of laying next to her
I know this because it kills her to see my name on your phone
You wait for my call or my text.
But no I refuse.
We both walked away from it all.