deepundergroundpoetry.com
Black burned wings
Is there a way to wage war
With out war
With pain and sore
Keeping score
Of every shot you endure
Is there a way love
With out live
To feel without being felt
Simply no
Blazing through thunder
And fire
My wings burned to fellow crisp
Burned to no more the blacked dust
Fighting for a heart
That never beats
Fighting for love
among the dead hearted
Its to late to turn back
But never to late to fight
I'm fighting for you
With out war
With pain and sore
Keeping score
Of every shot you endure
Is there a way love
With out live
To feel without being felt
Simply no
Blazing through thunder
And fire
My wings burned to fellow crisp
Burned to no more the blacked dust
Fighting for a heart
That never beats
Fighting for love
among the dead hearted
Its to late to turn back
But never to late to fight
I'm fighting for you
Published 29th Nov 2013
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Anonymous
29th Nov 2013 5:43pm
<< post removed >>
30th Nov 2013 1:27am
I like your comparison of love to war here. I think you poem could use clarity, eg;
Is there a way love
With out live
To feel without being felt
your line, with out live, here does not seem to fit well for me here, jmo ofcourse.
Otherwise, I like this and it's premise.
Thank you,
My best
Heart
Is there a way love
With out live
To feel without being felt
your line, with out live, here does not seem to fit well for me here, jmo ofcourse.
Otherwise, I like this and it's premise.
Thank you,
My best
Heart
