Happening Now

This is a brainstorm not a poem and I'm furious so spare me please.

Now
I'm being dragged without my will
To prove my submission
To my grave.
You'd think I'm weak?
Considering its equal to skinning me alive.
But no I'm powerful.
I'm dangerous.
I never thought my parents should fear me.
Not because I would hurt them.
Maybe,just maybe,I can hurt myself.
That's what 4500mg or paracetamol
And 1200mg of ibuprofen on daily basis do.
They kill slowly.
They kill me slowly as I watch them torture me more.
I want them to torture me
I want them to increase their dectotary techniques
The more they increase,the more guilty they'll feel once I'm seized.
The moment I'm taken to apply,they'll lose control over me
And I'll never trust anyone again.
I'm scared,I AM a coward,whenever I feel something in my body
I clinch.
I want someone to help me.
But no one is.
I'll never trust anyone again..
I pitty my lover,he did so much for me..
I pitty one single friend,she did as much as she could..
I pitty myself,I never thought I could go this disgustingly weak and low..
Bye old me..