my babysitter

waiting,debaiting
contemplating
on weather or not i
should be saying


he took one thing
i can never get back
it just goes to show
the real man he lacks

trust was the thing
 my mom gave to him
not knowing the monster
he hides with in

i lay down to sleep
he tells me to
knowing the moment is coming
when he finally breaks through

im hurt
and im bleeding
he's laughing
ignoring my pleading

does he care
does it bother him
knowing there was more than one thing
he put inside me
other then grim

three years have passed
and i am still perturbed
by the mess he left
all the things in my world are disturbed

just thinking he's out there
somewhere
im afraid to close my eyes
afraid to shower

i have no bruises
i have no scars
but takeing my virginity
was like taking my heart

he said he would come back
years later
to do it again
and again and again

i see his face
flash in my mind
smiling his ugly smile
making me wish i was blind