Rejected

Those words I seek
I think and I think
How I wish for a world
I haven’t even dreamed

Such an unlikely thing
For me to be so keen
On a thing that I cant
Even imagine or dream

I’d scream for this world
How I’d suffer and demean
Myself for a pleasure
That has no means

Why do I think
of such stupid things
How I wait and I wait
But I cant deny what I see

That beautiful girl
And that perfect dream
Crushed by my thoughts!
By how stupid I think!

Will I ever forgive myself
For loving this scheme
An illusion I taught myself
Built to thrive and entertain

So many words unsaid
How I fret and I fret
I can’t teach myself
How to love and forget

I keep hurting myself
And I know I’ll never quit
If I’d just convince myself
to fly from this building And end this

Take my life
For this beautiful mess
Destroy my mind
Since I can’t forget

Forgive myself again
Or confuse it
Rush back to my love again
Or diffuse it

Is my life worth living yet?
There is a true love that I met
O! how great she is and better yet!
I wonder, will she always reject?

I need this love in my life
I will try until I get!
I would suffer eternally
if I ever tried to resist

She'll just forget until forever
I've never been someone shes missed
I'll never feel her warmth that's soothing
that I long for and persist

Will I ever get that moment
To prove that I am this
The man that always loved her
That she will never kiss

My days will go on lonely
There is a task that I can't finish
I will take them as I follow her
'til my heart beats slow and diminish

I told her that I loved her
She didn't say a thing
I wish one day she'd listen
To all the things I think

Tonight there is a decision
between the end and what is left
Is she as sweet as she is bitter
once I prove that I am best?

I wonder if life gets better
Each time I hold my breath
I never knew I would stop breathing
Right before my death