deepundergroundpoetry.com
SAINT
A Saint does not have wide thighs
but our lay neighbor does,
thighs hardened of sex
as the hands of a tiller.
but our lay neighbor does,
thighs hardened of sex
as the hands of a tiller.
Published 13th Nov 2013
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Anonymous
13th Nov 2013 2:42pm
I like it Celino, its a good write.
I'm not sure if the second line needs the finishing "have"..it would seem to be assumed..?
as is I don't believe you need the comma ...
"A Saint does not have wide thighs
but our lay neighbor does,
thighs calloused of sex
or..
A Saint does not have wide thighs
but our lay neighbor does have
thighs calloused of sex
you see? or maybe I'm full of crap..lol
at any rate, I like it
I'm not sure if the second line needs the finishing "have"..it would seem to be assumed..?
as is I don't believe you need the comma ...
"A Saint does not have wide thighs
but our lay neighbor does,
thighs calloused of sex
or..
A Saint does not have wide thighs
but our lay neighbor does have
thighs calloused of sex
you see? or maybe I'm full of crap..lol
at any rate, I like it
13th Nov 2013 3:07pm
Hi nopoetiknow
I put myself that issue (about "have").
English is not my mother tongue and in some cases
I fill insecurity in some technical aspects.
I think I will follow your advice...
Not about the comma. I really want to sign a little pause in that point...
Thank you very much for your comment and advice
I put myself that issue (about "have").
English is not my mother tongue and in some cases
I fill insecurity in some technical aspects.
I think I will follow your advice...
Not about the comma. I really want to sign a little pause in that point...
Thank you very much for your comment and advice
