An Apology

Blunt,
Passive,
Aggressive,
But don’t be surprised
When I act out.
Your responsibilities failed,
However, so did mine.
 
I had to start over.
In order for the glitches,
To stop gaining control.
Even if that meant losing some
Stored memories of past endeavors.
I’m sorry for my battle of actions.
I was an educated, hard worker,
Yet a mess inside.
So lost in conflict,
And the truth.
A pairing that cannot exist.
My Freshman days are but gone.
However, you’re still  
In my mind everyday.
 
When you saw me
In the silent corner,
It was because I was observing.
Silence is never truly empty voices.
Listening to your word,
But also taking in an experience of thought.
Even if you never understood
That sane people can have breakdowns too,
I cared.
And I wish you would’ve knew
Before you and your friends judged.
It was then when I realized  
We couldn’t belong together.
 
A sense of tolerance was lost.
It doesn’t mean being nice.
It’s a lifestyle,
Not something that can be
Turned on and off.
We are human aren’t we?
Not plastic conformers.
My material can be misleading.
Just go ask my critics,
But I’m not here to please everyone.
Just my fellow minority.
And it is there where I said goodbye.
 
It is not wrong when it is said that
Not all bullies are straight.
As they tuck their loving supportive Queen,
And then go make us look like demonic sluts.
A harsh reality in which I learned.
Some people just want your precious jewels,
As they come when intoxicated desires arise.
Maybe that’s why they’ll throw
You to the the curb when you don’t share.
It’s just a false cause
In falling to a calling.
My body is a Michelangelo,
Not a cheap interactive showcase.
We’re all sexual beings,
Yet there’s a limit to what is class.
So I’ll pour you a glass,
And maybe you’ll realize
That it’s not about size.
 
I couldn’t be sorry
For your egocentric mind.
You only love me
When no one else loved you.
If only you sent forth  
Your Big Bang and
Celebrated the undefined with me.
But go ahead and be an obsessed Adonis.
To bad there’s no cure
To this illness.
Your motives were so ancient
That you could have been shown
In Venice.
 
You argued that I couldn’t fit
Into your precious clothes,
And then I got reprimanded
For wearing nothing at all.
It’s a societal trap of hierarchy.
So why do we distance ourselves
From this truth?
It is so obvious
That in the idea of opposing views
Brings a thought that may attract.
 
And it is those moments  
That I’ll hold true.
But for now
We cannot be.
Someday you’ll understand
My countless hours of silence,
And maybe I’ll understand your methods for desire.
But you and I is like comparing
Insides to outsides.
Its just not the same.
We can be one,
But functioning
As different entities
We will continue.