deepundergroundpoetry.com
The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
A closet in the fifth cloud
of my periphery
is housing the breath that was held
in a kiss that doesn't exist.
When the lite brite turns
black and white
I'll remember the lack of touch
was most intimate.
I thought I saw you
duck out a door
too blond and the rain was
pouring us another drink
It washed away all my color
I tugged at the knife
as the blood drained from your stare.
of my periphery
is housing the breath that was held
in a kiss that doesn't exist.
When the lite brite turns
black and white
I'll remember the lack of touch
was most intimate.
I thought I saw you
duck out a door
too blond and the rain was
pouring us another drink
It washed away all my color
I tugged at the knife
as the blood drained from your stare.
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likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 11
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
2nd Nov 2013 2:04am
you are so good at veracious deception. romance & bliss unattained, & the dispatching of a lover who wasn't...
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re: Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
3rd Nov 2013 00:46am
Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
2nd Nov 2013 3:28am
re: Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
3rd Nov 2013 00:47am
Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
Anonymous
2nd Nov 2013 9:31am
I like how you use the sun and moon as a metaphor for a man and a woman and how you use opposite things, fe the lack of touch was intimate....
fascinating write, as always
fascinating write, as always
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re: Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
3rd Nov 2013 00:47am
Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
2nd Nov 2013 1:09pm
Metaphorically amazing with brilliant imagery... Yea, another outstanding ink my friend :)
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re: Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
3rd Nov 2013 00:48am
Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
Anonymous
3rd Nov 2013 8:00am
The metaphors are amazing in this piece, i love the vivid imagery, excellent ink.
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Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
3rd Nov 2013 11:52am
Your metaphors in this piece with the imagery you create makes you hang on every word. Love your style and how you create such wonderful ink. Great ink!
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Re: The sun and moon are no longer visible (low level clouds)
5th Nov 2013 2:34am
Love the use of the metaphor and the way a message can be given in a subtle form that nonetheless presents an intensity of emotion.
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