Erase

Can you tell me who I am?
    I tend to forget
      These feelings swarm my soul
So I never remember
      Once I was beautiful
I’m now a wreck
      Stoned and high wreck
Pressure is too much and I can't help it
So please help me
   I’m not who I’m supposed to be
When the Monster wants
   I do what he pleas
Every memory aches
             Awakes
      I’m so baked
            Erase
My coke cakes
  Awaits for my arrival
He senses my needs
   But I’m only a tease
I try
  Re-apply
My mind
Caressed and covered
Beat to a pulp
I’m...High
Strung out  
      On a thread
  Hung to dry
Heat seeps into my skin
   I need to please him
   On the rim
   My light...
      So dim...
I lost my control
 He rapes my soul
And a burden takes its toll
"Mommy please help me
 I can’t find your soil"
My body can’t plant the seed
 My soil provides no feed
    So I read
    And realize I can’t bear
My flower can’t grow
Because you reap what you sow
And this is my punishment
         You can’t make a fire
              Without a flint
    I’m bent
 This way and that
    That's why I spat
   Monster I’m fat
On cash so I choke
Here I am...
   Empty pockets filled with coke
I revoke
  Relapse
Back to who I am
I’m surrounded
I’m canned
I throw myself under the bus
  Just because
No one else can
There so afraid
        I take the blame
      The Monsters game
Turns my lame into fame
I reconcile
  With no one
Monster I’m done
  You can’t trick me
I’m not your rubbish
      Don't punish  
What you create
         Hate
Me for who I am
Heroine needles in my hand
On the bed where I land
Covered in bands
        Stripped
     Of dignity
To bold to face
My reality I can’t taste
You put me in a new place
                    Erase
My memory from who I used to be
I’m still not me
 No one offers help
             I yelp
       I’m not heard
Miles where you lured
Me into your trap
        Your crap
I can’t ever get away
Your predator I’m prey
Cat and mouse game you have me play
        That I despise
But love  
        Every
             Little
                   Lie
Your right
      Maybe I should
   Drop under ground
Buried six feet down
             I frown
Look upon me
I’m a follower
I try
To keep on the track
But always find I’m going back
                I retract
Like a severed artery
     I bleed out
Become a victim
 of another crime
Another hollow skull
That takes role
But you always come first
      A thirst
Never satisfied
Monster please take a rest
I’m tired of trying  
             To do my best
I’m flushed
Enough I've gushed.
Enough I've erased.