Broken realities and Broken Teeth

everything changes in the blink of an eye
my thoughts blur with the reality of the moment
while I stand
paralyzed
the world spins around me
time ticks in slow motion
but only in my mind

making eye contact with strangers
they have no idea that my life has changed
that my reality has shifted
they take no notice that
I have lost functionality
that I mercilessly grind my teeth to nubs
and that I have clenched my fists so tightly
that my hands have gone numb


a thousands thoughts
enter my head
but none that I can grab onto
my focus is on nothing
and everything


for a moment I take notice of the sun
the warmth I feel upon my skin
and in my heart
the cool breeze
blows across my face
I close my eyes for a second
and I am swept away

I open my eyes to find
the light of the sun
fading into a greyish background
and suddenly the breeze is gone
an eerie stillness envelops me
I know that it is a beautiful day
that the birds are singing
and children are playing
in a yard down the street
I can hear their laughter
but I cannot feel their joy
the air is crisp
and clean for a late spring day
but all I notice are
the pins and needles invading my hands
the razor sharp thoughts of today’s reality
the tears that I have fought all day long
the lump in my throat that I cannot choke back
the burning in my chest
and the particles of teeth on my tongue

if I slam my face into the concrete
perhaps I could distract myself
from all of this
a quick shot of physical pain
to shift my focus
and trump what is going on inside of me
broken teeth and bloodied flesh
to make for a different reality
one that doesn't hurt so much
one that I can at least do something about
but I realize that the other reality will still exist
and will still have to face it
broken teeth or not