Wreckage of the Dying

Envy
a longing that sunk within the
captivity of my heart
Pulsed anxiously every vein that coursed
my body
Life seemed as if it were an inanimate object
set upon a shelf to collect dust
and so I sat there upon my chair restricted
and confined

Thoughts began to fade out of existence
once again
Oh how I yearned to sail once more
across the ocean
Oh I long to breathe the outside air
into my lungs
Woe to this wreckage this vessel which
holds my weary spirit
I lay like that of sunken remnant of yesterday

If I were without books to read
to sanctify the mind
to accompany me through my journey of dying
I would surely loose myself
Yet I had the birds and the squirrels
playing outside my window
scurrying on tree branches
and chasing eachother for my amusement

I also had small patches of blue sky
and the moon at night
gathering itself through wisps of clouds
I had my songs and my music to listen
to while I napped during the day
It was many a night that I dwelled
upon the richness of simple and
practical things

I cried out to the stars
asking for forgiveness
for all the wrong I endured
The windows to my poor sick soul
lacked complacency for my eyes could
compliment the mornings no longer
I laid in my bed a brittle shell
of my former self
never loving again
never knowing truth
never knowing beauty
only knowing death