deepundergroundpoetry.com
What Do I Do Now?
By the Gods! I need to free
my mind.
I know for a fact this poem
isn't suppose to rhyme,
but it hurts...
so much...
it's like a very deep
burn
being set by fire back again.
I was with him today,
pretending
to have the time of life.
Acting as if he only was friend,
but inside I ache to badly,
that my head begun
thumping.
For the sake of not making
it awkward, I tried,
not to look him in the face.
I just couldn't help being a aware,
of his every movement, every whispers,
even his very breathing.
I'm aching,
paining,
it obsolete torture.
Yet I kept saying,
resiting...
"It's okay, he's just hanging with us,
for today."
I didn't notice that deep inside,
I was yearning
praying,
for you to say my name.
Just one time.
One... time.
I couldn't say no
as he stood there,
watching with that piercing
gaze of his.
Watching my every
action,
expression,
energy sensation!
By the Gods! I know not,
to dispel him from
my heart.
You wouldn't understand it,
even though I'm telling,
you I tried,
it's ...
it's...
so hard!!
And now that I'm back home,
with my thoughts,
recollection,
what do I do?
I can't cry,
there's no more tears left
in my eyes.
but my chest feels soo fucking tight,
that my breathing feels...
constricted.
So tell me...
What do I do now?
Now that reality that gave me a bitch slap,
it my face,
telling me that I still love him.
Even though I said, I had stop caring for him.
What do I do now?
I know, that our past is history,
and it has been more than five years ago.
having my heart race this speed,
just my his scent,
his voice.
I just...
can't let him...
go!!!
my mind.
I know for a fact this poem
isn't suppose to rhyme,
but it hurts...
so much...
it's like a very deep
burn
being set by fire back again.
I was with him today,
pretending
to have the time of life.
Acting as if he only was friend,
but inside I ache to badly,
that my head begun
thumping.
For the sake of not making
it awkward, I tried,
not to look him in the face.
I just couldn't help being a aware,
of his every movement, every whispers,
even his very breathing.
I'm aching,
paining,
it obsolete torture.
Yet I kept saying,
resiting...
"It's okay, he's just hanging with us,
for today."
I didn't notice that deep inside,
I was yearning
praying,
for you to say my name.
Just one time.
One... time.
I couldn't say no
as he stood there,
watching with that piercing
gaze of his.
Watching my every
action,
expression,
energy sensation!
By the Gods! I know not,
to dispel him from
my heart.
You wouldn't understand it,
even though I'm telling,
you I tried,
it's ...
it's...
so hard!!
And now that I'm back home,
with my thoughts,
recollection,
what do I do?
I can't cry,
there's no more tears left
in my eyes.
but my chest feels soo fucking tight,
that my breathing feels...
constricted.
So tell me...
What do I do now?
Now that reality that gave me a bitch slap,
it my face,
telling me that I still love him.
Even though I said, I had stop caring for him.
What do I do now?
I know, that our past is history,
and it has been more than five years ago.
having my heart race this speed,
just my his scent,
his voice.
I just...
can't let him...
go!!!
Published 20th Oct 2013
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