Try

I scream
see and say
do and don't
wonder what's real
suck it up and give it another
go,

I'm wondering
so many things
just battling in my head so many things
this path I can't seem to shake
if I can shout loud enough  will you here?
if I scream will somebody understand?
...know crying is doing nothing now
I know I can't get the same help
gone too far...
now I don't know what I'm doing these things that I said
and I'm wondering what to do next
muffled sound in my ears
screams and screams and no silence...

I'm wondering
I'm wondering

if I find something to focus it  all away
if I find something to whisper it all away
something to stand for, something to shout for
the world seems so filthy
and I'm not any better...

wondering

I'm  wondering

throw out a word,
use it well.

throw out a structure,
think of it dearly.

think of all of everything
everything..

are these passions truly true
everything I say
with a righteous eye
everything I hold dear
my rights, my wrongs my morality..
it is all so insane
so fucking insane

what do I do now?

plead and beg?
scream and shout like a little rat?
for the things I want
for the world I want...

if everything were to just change I couldn't take it
and if everything were to stay, it would just drive me insane...


what do I do?
when everything is going to shit?

I can't get the outcome I want
say all these words can't believe came out of my mouth?

I fucking try I try

I just try