How You Left Me

In a greater sin than I could ever slither into
in the recesses of my homo-fabulous mind.

In pain.

Bewildered at the consequence of something I didn't believe in
(what now? This was never supposed to happen).

On foot, both of us.

Angry at the world for giving me something so beautiful and then cruelly
twisting it out of my grasp. Some things are better left unknown to the heart.
I would rather it be so, anyway.

So alone, without a friend in the world who could fix what was broken,
although they tried, my God, how they tried.

For dead.

Alcoholically incapable of seeing a way out.

With a duffel bag in your hand, and a backpack slung over your shoulder,
tears in your eyes as you twisted the doorknob. Refusing to look at me as I followed you outside.

Angry at myself for letting it go to the point of no return, for not making better peace with
this twisted little family. And bitter for not being my princess-in-shining-armor.
A silly thought, really - girls like me don't get rescued.

Reluctantly.

Necessarily.

With a slow, burning, exploratory kiss. Your mouth was more than my captor,
it was my master. It was my sun, my king. My god. The whole world blearily
sank into the cracks in the asphalt as you stood, in front of our house (Our House),
and latched your lips onto mine, siphoning out my soul. Your hands cupped my face
in an unrelenting need that melted my pores and left scars on my psyche.
I was dizzy and short of breath, longing for this to still be
when I opened my eyes. So I did, and then,

that is how you left me.