Mid Life Crisis

Mid Life Crisis
10-13-2013

I miss the storms that used to live around my heart,
The angst of a young man…
I used to burn with and for each emotion,
Everything was epic, and
I could live on piss and vinegar for a week at a time.
I longed for love and for a life yet to come.
I felt noble and naive at the same time…

I was prone to rages, recoils, and flights of fancy.
Get drunk, freak out, take off, or some combination.
Unpredictable, unreliable, undeniable…
I found peace in dark alleys, EL stops, and other shadows.
I sought out the fringes, criminals, mad women,
I was a mad man, mad with emotions I couldn't control.
Mad with the idea that liquor might help.

Now, the coolness of age has taken over and I no longer burn,
Only smolder here in my own ashtray.