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Pain of Life /// Part vii

pain of life /// part vii

[ silly boy� words are the truth� ]

they always have been for me, but I was too busy
taken things on face values accept sexuality which
is more to do with your place than your face
well both, really and a word that needs another
word to describe it�

A revision, a new turn of the phrase�perhaps
desire� passion� these may contain that meaning
but they contain other meanings in humankind as well.

Naw, we need a new word for sexuality� One that
encompasses the whole of the cycle, the thought, the
pleasures, the denials, the woes, the whys, and what
the fuck are we doing with all this� it's like farcical
theatre - it's like an isosceles triangle blown to bits in
a video insane asylum� like a treasure found and
melted due to the sun's overheating the earths surface
values� and a weeping for woe is us to even get
here on a free pass�

A travesty of emotions placed in a cocktail
of bent feathers, extra virgin olive oil, and cannabis
and / or bourbon.

I yearn for all those pre-lovers I dismissed due to
being faithful to another. The opportunities I
slighted to this day number in the scores &
scores� Why?�
did I dismiss those, is my question now�
Guilt? Loyalty?... Ham?

I fantasize, (another word needed to be revised), I
jerk off in my thoughts thinking how sweet it would
be with them - with you as you read this - with that
libido that urge that seeeeems to have erupted in my
psyche most recently. My visions most vividly� TO
COME WITH YOU, IN YOU, ON YOU, that would
be magic. That would be being. That would be truth.

And if you want to, well you can bleed on me,
the man wrote��.

These words are for you my old friend. What may
have been, could have been, but should have been� well,
that's the path we choose in this life. That's the couple
million times we have these slight regrets about thinking
how special it would've been to ease some pain - the pain
of life - �the suffering which is dissolve thru contact of the
flesh and orgasmic consequences of the will�

oh when i held all of you in that glow, that special
vibrant light we saw together in our brief oneness
THAT was nirvana. THAT was heaven. THAT was
a feeling I will take with me to the forever Times and
tell the tales to conscience of how it came to be - what
the choice we made to not conspire but to ease our
desperations and insecurities that depress of thoughts
would leave for whiles at minimum.

How much pleasure of the flesh can a being endure - How
much before all senses overload and would insanity set in
and become the boiler plate - I think it is the one aspect of
this being that has all of us wound up on a Time spring.

The eternal confusion. The question of all motherloads
questions. -- Why this, and why so intense, and why the
fuck does it make me reel so real by reel? For that
matter, why the fuck does it make me even want to write
about it. Here. Today. For you. To read. Witness. And
think - ponder upon???

What do I know� I'm only here to give my input, and
hope it may help another being in similar. But know
this - what was, was bliss.

What wasn't was bliss too
- but lessons learned nonetheless�

still, it could've been vibrant with you.