deepundergroundpoetry.com
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When tidal waves crash
And flood all of the land
Look for my eyes amongst the chaos
And reach for my hand
Life seems to push us
Until the point where we
And flood all of the land
Look for my eyes amongst the chaos
And reach for my hand
Life seems to push us
Until the point where we
Published 21st Sep 2009
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15th Jul 2011 11:12pm
I really like this one in its simplicity. I would suggest the removal of "of" in line 2 (for flow), and perhaps the change of "until" in the last line to something else (until implies time, point implies place), but that's just small stuff. Good overall.
Anonymous
9th Jan 2013 10:37am
YES, until the point where we......???
Abrupt ending, maybe i can be an idea to use the first phrase again, make the end into....
Until the point
When tidal waves crash
Nicely penned!
Abrupt ending, maybe i can be an idea to use the first phrase again, make the end into....
Until the point
When tidal waves crash
Nicely penned!
