Envy vs Jealousy

It's not jealous it's like envy...  
It's not like the beauty of birth, more like the sorrow of death...  
 
Honestly it might be me...  
Eyes closed tight and even if they were open I'd be too blind to see...  
 
So unfortunate in my lust...  
Because your so limited with your trust...  
 
Ok ok enough of that...but can you dig it? to the depths that I dug?  
Because I've dug this envy all the way to the bones of my heart  
And yes that makes this impossible because even I never thought this could happen to me  
 
Never knew I could be jealous of envy....