always never

Sleepless he sits.
Smoking the tar of his cigarette to bits.
Thoughts dwelling.
Everything just feels so fucking overwhelming.
Drowning in concern.
The cigarette will not forever burn.

Glimpses of fear
As the ancient depression is near.
He knows that this will not forever be.
What it seems to be.
But why not hang onto the thought
Of what May be.

Remain silent and sad in his bed.
A million, maybe a billion thoughts just crushing his head.
For he no longer knows.
What the future for him holds.

An ice cold wild blows into him.
Where the windows will let nothing in.
And he is just wondering..
What the fuck.. is left of him?