deepundergroundpoetry.com
She Cries In Her Sleep
A smile for the moment,
Shines through all the torment.
Strength for her children,
For them she becomes brave.
Abused for being a woman,
A female who bore him children,
Yet he calls her weakness,
In his eyes she is useless.
She is not allowed to be tired,
She must satisfy her husband.
Good woman she has a strong heart,
For her children she can't give up.
Late at night i hear her cries,
Why should she suffer in life.
Is she not a good wife,
Does she not deserve a smile?
Watch her sleep,
She is not at peace,
For she cries in her sleep.
Her pain is so deep,
She can never find peace.
Published 25th Sep 2013
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likes 4
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comments 4
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25th Sep 2013 1:41pm
captivating... I could see the pain in everything made me think of the women in my life and if I should try to do better great read
25th Sep 2013 2:50pm
There is a sense of detached aggression in this piece. I feel the poem could be further enhanced by adding more emotion to your persona, we never experienced a proper vicariousness that is longed for here. We want to feel how the persona does, we want to experience the empathy towards this woman. Or possible explore the innocence of the child further. I just feel it lacks in emotive power. But very well written otherwise, I enjoyed reading it.
25th Sep 2013 3:47pm
Thank you gents.
I appriciate the advice,its true i left it kinda hanging.i always have a problem with finish a poem or putting meat on it.
Ima try to do better next time.
I appriciate the advice,its true i left it kinda hanging.i always have a problem with finish a poem or putting meat on it.
Ima try to do better next time.
27th Sep 2013 00:16am
This reminds me of what my mom went through when I was a lot younger.
A well written,relatable scribe (:
A well written,relatable scribe (:
