The Truth

You said to drop the gimmick
That it's okay to be myself
I could've used these words a year ago
When I was trying to be somebody else

When I'd trust my heart with strangers
Only to watch it hit the floor
It was the feeling of being wanted
That kept me coming back for more

When happiness wasn't attainable
And I struggled to find myself
When the "love" no longer was present
I would just find it in somebody else

I was in the midst of a vicious cycle
How I was feeling, nobody could tell
I would laugh and say it was amusing
But in reality I was going through hell

Why can't I wash my hands of you?
Clean up the mess I had already made
Better yet, who the heck are you?
And why is it that I'm feeling this way?

I sleep with a knife in my pillow
Protection from what I don't see
Not once have I ever had to use it
But it keeps me from having bad dreams

Please tell me what it is that I'm running from
Making everyday of mine feel like Hell
Well, maybe if I took a second to realize
That Im running from nobody but myself.