today

today

feeling scared today
frightened
of what life is doing to me
people, the world, what they do and say
sems it affects me, in a negative kinda way
makes me want to cut myself, hide away
not come out to play
been sleeping alone for the past few nights
wife isnt here, to chase away the frights
hours on my own, in my mental home
leave me free, to think and roam
fantasize about all the differant ways
i can hurt myself
just me alone nobody else
self mutilation is a personal sin
that only the fucked up indulge in

when i feel like this , the world dosent exist
my thoughts are so cloudy
i am wandering through mist
where shadows have no faces
i tremble my heart races
i am scared like a rabbit snared
in the head lights of a car
death is so close, and yet so far

today dosent want to go away
life is today, yesterday, tommorow
endless timeless sorrow
it is misery and shit, i cant cope with it
i often wonder why i cry when alone
empty like a shell, confidance shot to hell
hell is where i am headed
waiting to be disembowled, torchered, shredded
hell, i hear its bell calling me into the night
today and tonight, both want to take a bite
from my sorry ass,
thats why i hide inbetween, never seen
hiding away beneath my medication waves
they make me behave
the way others want me to
but secretly im thinking

fuck  you