the drop

i feel like i’m dropping away again
despair pulling me into the dark
i feel like i’m floating in an ocean of fear
and my doubt refuses to disembark

i remind myself to give up the thoughts
stubbornly clinging  to my mind
i remind myself this is ridiculous
but to my fear i’ve become resigned

i have no reason to question Him
still i seem to do just that
i have no ability to adjust my outlook
all my efforts seem to just fall flat

i wish i could cease this sorrow
snap my fingers and lose this pain
i wish i could think of something else
or at least turn off my brain

i so want to be strong and sure
end the endless tears i cry
i so want to be worthy and brave
face the world with my eyes dry

it’s only subdrop i tell myself
saying it over and over aloud
it’s only a short lived state
no reason to remain under this cloud

yes, i know my dismay is unfounded
but that doesn’t stay my thoughts
yes, i know my view is distorted
but my soul is still distraught

i’ll wait this out as i have before
knowing He’s true to His word
i’ll wait until my vision is clear
rather than being so blurred

i will once again feel safe and secure
this feeling will finally dissolve
i will once again pass out of this chasm
i simply have to find the resolve