deepundergroundpoetry.com
Reflecting a Cruel Shine
You my friend are truly alone
Well,
We are not really friends are we?
Your substance is little more than
Air
How the mirror shows these skeletal pockets to feel so hollow
Wound tightly by wounded skin
Published 5th Sep 2013
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
6th Sep 2013 6:13am
I sensed an undercurrent of anger. I feel like I wanted to read more, but not in the sense that the poem is lacking... Clumsy comments, but perhaps you'll get what I mean.
That third line cuts deep... The line about the mirror is good, but is a disconnected fragment, perhaps teak it for smoother flow.
A psychological twist poem, I like it.
That third line cuts deep... The line about the mirror is good, but is a disconnected fragment, perhaps teak it for smoother flow.
A psychological twist poem, I like it.
