deepundergroundpoetry.com

This Girl, This Demon

You sleep beside me at night.
Sighing softly,
shivering.
Your bones pressed against me,
hollow, like a bird
(light as a feather)
like an angel.
I listen closely,
because at any moment,
your stuttering, abused heart
might
just
stop.
I think back to a time
when you whispered your wishes to me,
" a castle, a prince, to be famous, to be..."
(thin as a rail)
"beautiful."
I didn't understand. I still don't.
How could you want this?
I watched but didn't see,
under your gray sweater,
your stomach, eating itself.
Now
with your frost overtaking me,
I follow you.
Into the snow.
(I want to walk in the snow, and leave no footprints)
Red bracelets sag on our wrists,
growling bile fills our blood.
We
are
perfect.
We run like the sky is falling.
No meal for us.
I ask why,
"What nourishes me, destroys me."
It all makes sense now.
Weightless, I float 
through this life I've made
so easy
to go through alone.
But
we've got each other.
There's silence, exploding darkness,
Where am I?
The unstable monitor's beep.
So many questions.
"Why are you starving? Why?"
I'm not starving,
I'm perfecting my emptiness.
Sugar-drip silence.
"Why?"
I didn't want her to be alone.
We lie toghether
under crisp white sheets,
tainted by the smell,
of rotting daughter.
(Don't you want to be remembered as the beautiful, thin one?)
"You're dying."
She tells me.
It means she is too.
"Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry at my funeral?"
She takes my hand,
a silent promise.
The last thing we see
is the dish of chocolates on the table.
The ones
we died
to aviod.
Written by forever-for_real (Tess Stoops)
Published
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