Innocence

For thirteen years
I was innocent
I relinquished it
to fit in
to fuck
to get fucked up
the typical road map
to teenage enlightenment
but now that this road map
must be burned in exchange for
growing up
growing old
and dying
I wonder if I tread
a different path
if I was still innocent
what the world would look like 
what the world
would see me as
what my reflection would tell me
about white sheets
and family times
and happy endings?
but I made my choice
for a good reason
I can party with the best of 'em
all night
until six a.m. when I am
forced to stop
because everyone else
has passed out
or gone to bed
I am happy
I am crazy
I am not innocent
but honestly
even if I could
I wouldn't change a thing