Comfortable Rut.

'The day we go to bed and just...'
This was abbreviated by a shudder
'Cuddle... Is the day we break up.
Not even break up.
This is not a relationship.
It's just sex on tap.
Got it?'

3 years, 7 months and 5 days later,
I feel myself sinking into this rut,
As I would my favourite armchair.
4 not break ups later,
I feel myself grateful,
For this unbelievably comfortable hurdle.
No sex,
No kisses.
He buys beer,
I drink.
He cooks,
I wash up,
He wears the clothes,
I wash them,
He plays his game,
I play mine.
He gets into bed,
I follow a few hours later.
Because at least
If we don't go to bed
At the same time
I don't stay awake
Interrogating myself
About what's wrong with me.

I like my routine,
I can't stand change,
Confrontation? No, thank you.
So I'll sit in my comfy armchair,
Developing a complex,
But at least I'm doing it comfortably.