I Miss It

I miss it
The drops of blood appearing
Stopping my eyes from tearing
The sting of that beautiful blade
From the incisions it so deftly made
Clean, straight, oozing stripes
Clearing mental pains of all types
Soothing the jagged state of my mind
Plunging me into a state of rewind
Back into peaceful, graceful bliss
I barely notice the pain, nothing amiss
I feel safe, satisfied, renewed
With every slice improving my dark mood
A light of pleasure dancing before me
Setting me to rest, to dream free
But oh my addiction is at halt
So it seems like all wrong is my fault
Now I have no escape, no reward
Because his pain I cannot afford
That wretched promise he made to keep
Said he'll do it ten fold, too deep
I cannot allow this, I cannot bear it
So I endure my emotional pain
Every bit of it against my grain
Craving the knife, wanting the sting
Now I go insane hearing the mournful Sirens sing
They lure me in, hypnotize me into madness
Voices so loud I feel headless
No thought, no will, no fight
Until I close my eyes into an endless night