LESSONS LEARNED THE HARDEST WAY

ALL THIS BULLSHIT I PUT MYSELF THROUGH
NOBODY BUT ME IS TO BLAME I RUIN  AND KILL
ANYONE WHO COULD LOVE ME I PUSH AND PUSH
AGAINST THAT LOVE UNTIL I KNOCK A HOLE IN
THIS PRESCIOUS BARRIER UNCONDITIONAL
EXCEPT IF IM EMOTIONAL OR IF I CANT ABIDE
ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU  PRETENDED NOW CANT HIDE
SO NO QUESTIONS ATLEAST NO ANSWERS MORE
I GAVE UNTIL I WAS EMPTY NOW I DEPEND ON YOU
FOR MY WELL IM SICK AS FUCK
DESPERATE TO ACT CASUAL YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE WE NEVER
WERE AT ALL THATS WHAT BAFFLES MY MIND
I HAVE HAD MY DAYS BUT YOU PLAGUE MY NIGHTS
TRYING TO CAREFULLY OPEN MENTAL BOXSES
DETERMINED TO FIND OUT WHY YOUVE JUST MOVED ON
WHY I CANT ITS SO UNFAIR BUT WHY SPECULATE
WHEN YOU GAVE ME THIS BULLSHIT SELF DEFLATING
DEPENDANT MY DOPPLEGANGER ANGRY AND DESTRUCTIVE
ITS TIME TO BRING THIS DEATH FULL CIRCLE
DONT LAUGH IT OFF NOTHING FEELS GOOD
SO I HATE GETTING LOADED ITS NOT DRUGS
ITS THE ADDICTION IM STRUNG OUT ON PAIN
TORTURE MYSELF I DESERVE EVERYTHING I GOT
                                                                                                           
SO I TRY TO PRETEND THE WORST HASNT HAPPENED
I PLEAD WITH GOD TO LET ME HEAL
LET ME WAKE FROM THIS NIGHTMARE IT CANT BE REAL
HUMMING MYSELF TO SLEEP I SEE YOU HER AND HER ASKIN IF YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT I HATE THAT THE FUCKIN SHIT OCCURED IN MY FACE