God answer me!

i cant even cry anymore i got so used to pretending i dont remember if i wanna die any more im 15 and i feel like ive lived 1000 times
if our worst fear is power how can u still wish to dominate after making us feel small?god fucking answer me yo when i was praying u aint listen now ur ignoring me? huh?
im a child and i know these words i speak are hard for u 2 understand but if im following the leader nd u makin sum fucked up commands
ill kill my self before i let u take my life away since u dont aswer i bet u couldnt take this knife away
ive been bleedin nd theys keys are speaking for me now i guess i had to die they didnt want me around
spitting this blood up over the tub to bathe in it
hey they say u made no mistakes
but look u made this shit