I don't believe in anything

At risk of wavering
or labouring.
The heaviness on my lip hasn't lessened
I wouldn't call it stiff, just pleasant.

There's a strength in stability and promenence
I can look but mutable ideas gain me nothing
what's needed is a sense of independence
but what does the word mean
if I've chosen my preference.

Diagonal splits- my mind cant agree with the other side
I can only turn on myself
but does that show personal strength
or helplessness

This reflection suggests
I'm perhaps more than I was when I left
except I was pushed away from that
and I've thrown myself into this,
for myself
and me only
surely that's strong.
It's the signal for dependency to thicken and my stabilisers
which were just about to come off,
to go back on.

I think I love you
but then again I think I'm pathetic
and I know I've said both of those things before.
But stolen words can make up better words
especially as I'm so broken in my thought.

There's something about the fact that
neither of us have tried to be perfect
whilst hoping to be
and everything's been such a mess
that makes all of this
completely flawless.