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Adrift (Haiku XII)
Caressing soft lips
Unfurl desire with sway
Mounting into bliss.
(Just a quickie :-))
(Competition write) Foreplay,Sex,Orgasm
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/5560/
"Write a poem split into three stanzas - foreplay, sex, and orgasm- without using stereotypical 'erotica' words. No fucks, tits, ass, wet, cock, etc I want to see who can manage this using language skills rather than the same old pump-and-dump words."
Unfurl desire with sway
Mounting into bliss.
(Just a quickie :-))
(Competition write) Foreplay,Sex,Orgasm
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/5560/
"Write a poem split into three stanzas - foreplay, sex, and orgasm- without using stereotypical 'erotica' words. No fucks, tits, ass, wet, cock, etc I want to see who can manage this using language skills rather than the same old pump-and-dump words."
Published 26th Jul 2013
| Edited 9th Sep 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 14
reads 907
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Jul 2013 11:28am
Mmmmm 'quickies' can be just as yummy n enjoyable
as 'marathons' lmao awesome. :)
as 'marathons' lmao awesome. :)
27th Jul 2013 11:19am
Haha! Thanks for your encouraging words! And I think you're absolutely right regarding the quickies :-)!
26th Jul 2013 2:45pm
Sensual and suggestive, leaving the imagination room to sway back and forth. Beautiful haiku, Chi.
27th Jul 2013 11:24am
Glad you find enough room for imagination. There aren't so many words around to enclose it :-). Thank you!
Anonymous
26th Jul 2013 3:58pm
Chi,
A quicky for sure, but more than worthy of taking it all in slowly! ; ) Enjoyed!
tornado
A quicky for sure, but more than worthy of taking it all in slowly! ; ) Enjoyed!
tornado
27th Jul 2013 11:26am
Thank you for your nice and welcome comment, tornado! I imagine you taking it all in slowly :-).
Anonymous
27th Jul 2013 00:48am
I love the haiku, Iris. Your poem demonstrates a wonderful economy of words. A striking example of saying/suggesting much in as few words as possible. A sophisticated, gentle, erotic piece. Beautiful..!!! :)
*Peace* Carlene
*Peace* Carlene
27th Jul 2013 11:18am
Thank you so much, Carlene! I wasn't sure about it but am very glad you like it and commented on it in so lovely words! It means a lot to me, als always!
Anonymous
27th Jul 2013 10:17am
Written from the core, very well expressed!
Good luck, Chiyo (think this one will do very well in the comp!)
Good luck, Chiyo (think this one will do very well in the comp!)
27th Jul 2013 11:28am
Thanks for your good wishes, Mourganna! It's short but I'm glad you enjoyed it in its brevity.
Anonymous
13th Aug 2013 9:52am
<< post removed >>
10th May 2014 3:21pm
So glad you like it! Always happy to see you, Gabriel, although this time I saw you pretty late. Shame on me!
15th Aug 2013 11:03am
A short but full of meaning response to the competition's challenge.
BTW - was it intended to read acrostically? The first letter of each line spells "CUM"!
BTW - was it intended to read acrostically? The first letter of each line spells "CUM"!
:-). I HOPED that its shortness would be an advantage. Was not :-). Thanks for finding it worthy of the competition's challenge! And no, I wasn't aware that the first letters spell "CUM"! Haha! Thanks for the hint!
