deepundergroundpoetry.com
Not quite solid.
She wanders in the newly born evening, always.
The moon hanging pearly white, beaming bright from his pedestal;
countless eyes boring down: burning judgement.
As the hammer falls she finds herself craving darkness.
Wound up tight in looking glass logic and cocooned against reason,
voices weave their way through the silence. Not quite solid.
They speak in contrast, tones of black and white:
"Yes" "No"
"Alive?" "Dead"
"No, no, no"
They seep into the distance, however much she reaches for them,
they allude her touch. She pinches herself but feels nothing,
her fingers passing through her skin as if she were a ghost.
Silvery wisps flare off the tip of her tongue as she tries to speak.
Words fall flat in the silence.
Pensive, she begins to wonder why her legs never tire,
the eastern wind dragging along the tree tops at a constant sluggish pace.
Colours unfold across the sky, alike a butterfly unleashing its wings;
they appear in blots of reds and blues to fade and swell simultaneously.
The skies splitting into two slits, a sharp bleeping ripping tranquility apart.
Then, light.
The moon hanging pearly white, beaming bright from his pedestal;
countless eyes boring down: burning judgement.
As the hammer falls she finds herself craving darkness.
Wound up tight in looking glass logic and cocooned against reason,
voices weave their way through the silence. Not quite solid.
They speak in contrast, tones of black and white:
"Yes" "No"
"Alive?" "Dead"
"No, no, no"
They seep into the distance, however much she reaches for them,
they allude her touch. She pinches herself but feels nothing,
her fingers passing through her skin as if she were a ghost.
Silvery wisps flare off the tip of her tongue as she tries to speak.
Words fall flat in the silence.
Pensive, she begins to wonder why her legs never tire,
the eastern wind dragging along the tree tops at a constant sluggish pace.
Colours unfold across the sky, alike a butterfly unleashing its wings;
they appear in blots of reds and blues to fade and swell simultaneously.
The skies splitting into two slits, a sharp bleeping ripping tranquility apart.
Then, light.
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likes 18
reading list entries 3
comments 25
reads 1279
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The author encourages honest critique.
re: Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 8:23am
Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 1:54am
Sounds like a long night Dear Scribbler:)---Tis Beautiful and deep into the crypts-I Loved all the colour, shadow & light play!!!
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 8:24am
Re: Not quite solid.
Anonymous
26th Jul 2013 2:08am
Like sensing/seeing through the eyes of another in this wonderfully crafted poem, Scribbler. You never short-change the reader. There is so much richly shaded depth in this powerful write. Much enjoyed, as always! :)
*Peace* Carlene
*Peace* Carlene
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 8:25am
Re: Not quite solid.
re: Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 8:26am
Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 6:52am
Another wonderful poem- and, almost unbelievably, getting better. It has a new calmness, even serenity which gives perhaps a greater coherence to the poem yet still accommodates your trademark startingly imaginative images. Great.
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 8:27am
Re: Not quite solid.
26th Jul 2013 7:18pm
you took me there,
i sigh a sigh of whimsicalness and wonder to this
i smiled the entire time i read this, someone looking in would probably think from the look on my face i was watching porn or something,
nope just reading your poetry =].
i sigh a sigh of whimsicalness and wonder to this
i smiled the entire time i read this, someone looking in would probably think from the look on my face i was watching porn or something,
nope just reading your poetry =].
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
11th Aug 2013 3:52pm
Re: Not quite solid.
27th Jul 2013 2:19am
not sure why but it reminded me part of it The long walk by Stephen King one of my favorite tales!! next to the Dark Tower!
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
11th Aug 2013 3:56pm
Loove Stephen King, I'm a huge fan of the Dark Tower series. Thank you for your kind comment :)
Re: Not quite solid.
Anonymous
27th Jul 2013 9:47am
This one is very special, Scribbler! Almost as if something or someone is with you, is writing the words through you, a source, an other worldly energy, angels of sorts, I feel this is almost tranquil, a vision you have only once....
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
11th Aug 2013 3:57pm
Re: Not quite solid.
27th Jul 2013 6:07pm
This is well crafted for sure. The words draw you in immediately. Nice!
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
11th Aug 2013 3:59pm
Re: Not quite solid.
29th Jul 2013 6:25pm
Life is often fluid, not solid. This cycle of life isn't managed with man made time... it is a daily dance from dark of night to light of dawn.
1
re: Re: Not quite solid.
11th Aug 2013 4:00pm
:)
9th Aug 2013 2:06am
Oh goodness! Wonderful scribe hun!
This was quite enjoyable! You have such an incredible way with words.
Pen Love~
This was quite enjoyable! You have such an incredible way with words.
Pen Love~
1
re: :)
11th Aug 2013 4:05pm
Re: Not quite solid.
11th Aug 2013 7:41pm
A tiny point noticed on second reading- surely the second word, line eight of the second stanza should be elude rather than allude.
0
Re: Not quite solid.
15th Jan 2014 7:02am
Re: Not quite solid.
6th May 2015 7:57am