the way he was

i wake up and open
my eyes 
i was not asleep

i can see all the
mistakes
i have made in my life
i know what it takes

to make everything
right
bad life decisions
make me feel like i am laying

bricks for the
tower
of Babylon
the higher i go the closer

i come to the collapse
i
can spend the rest of my life
apologizing for the dirt i have done

if i
apologize then that
makes me a true asshole
if i don't then people
will say

"that's just the way he was" 
and that's what i
really want


please don't cry at my funeral
because i cant hear your sorrow
i lived
my full natural life

around you with nothing
but love and joy
for the
world around me

smile and be happy for me
as you all take shots at the
wake
rejoice in the memories of our time together

i will always be
around you
in your heart and mind
with memories that are good and bad

i
am lucky to be alive
to this day and cant wait to wake
tomorrow so
that i can play

with my mind that i lost yesterday.