Untitled for now

 The jokes and teasing, it never ends
I STILL love you, like I'd done something wrong
Subtle words and jabs but they're all just a joke

I'm too serious, tortured and lost
Un-playful and boring
Interrogating and badgering as if I'm your criminal until you get your way

But I close my eyes and see him there
Those times he held me tight
And whispered in my ear
Tingling to my toes

We'd talk or not talk at all
It didn't matter, each other's company was enough
It patched our souls
Stitched them together

I keep my eyes closed so I can see that one night
It was your first as well as mine
We came together, right on time shocking us to our cores
We'd never felt that orgasm before

The homemade flowers tucked in my mail
The poetry left for when I woke
Understanding and accepting of who I was
I didn't need a mental hospital

My eyes open as our souls are torn apart
Now my soul is open
It continues to bleed for you
The passion and hunger and love we held

Trapped here, I can never go back
Even if I saw you, I'd choose to stay
He hurts me in a way you never could

The pain is my drug
I cannot live without it
He's my supplier

Holding me down, a hand around my neck
The words he speaks
and my hips held tight until I'm over that edge

It feeds my bleeding soul