deepundergroundpoetry.com
The place I can no longer be
I remember the streets I used to walk.
I remember the men;
the feeling of broken glass and hearts
collecting between my toes,
assembling in the drain;
the fullness of it,
the clogged satisfaction.
The streets I walked for three years
between mine and his or her house,
between the evening and the street lamps;
their lashings of light fell like tongues
onto the back of my neck and my wrists
like a mate healing my wounds.
Those streets, shade to the curdling heat before it
and to the summer that lurches after, towards me now,
bidding me to run.
I want to run
But the reflections in the pooling rot
beg me to slow down, beg me to stillness.
I remember the men;
the feeling of broken glass and hearts
collecting between my toes,
assembling in the drain;
the fullness of it,
the clogged satisfaction.
The streets I walked for three years
between mine and his or her house,
between the evening and the street lamps;
their lashings of light fell like tongues
onto the back of my neck and my wrists
like a mate healing my wounds.
Those streets, shade to the curdling heat before it
and to the summer that lurches after, towards me now,
bidding me to run.
I want to run
But the reflections in the pooling rot
beg me to slow down, beg me to stillness.
Published 2nd Jul 2013
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Anonymous
2nd Jul 2013 8:21am
There's a lot of seething melancholia here. This is beautiful. A personal highlight for me would be "between the evening and the street lamps" - because I feel the limbo of the writer, trapped between a memory and the present mind. In terms of journey through the poem, this language works beautifully.
A few minor niggles:
"Streetlamps" is two separate words.
"their lashings of light fall like tongues" - this line slips back into present tense when the rest of the poem is past tense. Changing the word to "fell" instead of fall would rectify this.
Thank you for the read, it was a pleasure.
A few minor niggles:
"Streetlamps" is two separate words.
"their lashings of light fall like tongues" - this line slips back into present tense when the rest of the poem is past tense. Changing the word to "fell" instead of fall would rectify this.
Thank you for the read, it was a pleasure.
2nd Jul 2013 2:23pm
Thank you for spotting the issues! And for reading, I'm glad you found it beautiful. :)
