deepundergroundpoetry.com
Release
It's interesting how the end
can be so easy
like crushing a rose
between a toddlers sticky fingers
or dropping an egg
and watching it smash on the floor
The cleanup isn't necessary
apathy breeds on broken things
forgetting that you ever cared at all
then it is finally ok to say
that the time has come
don't mind the cracks
they were there all along
invisible to the eye
but written on the heart and soul
pre-mapped out fracture lines
so when you drop you shatter completely
climb high so you can ensure a good break
shower your paints far and wide
a good twenty foot radius
creates a lovely tapestry
for all the stories that you held inside
and then close your eyes
take a step forward, then two
feeling the cool and quiet harmony
between gritty surface behind
and the soft and beckoning breeze
like the contrast between yesterday's memories
and tomorrow's aimless longings
Lastly, take the plunge before you
dive into currents that are not unlike water
yet carry leaves and aide fragile wings
Remember not to scream as you near the surface
this is what you were made for
so make sure to embrace your release
can be so easy
like crushing a rose
between a toddlers sticky fingers
or dropping an egg
and watching it smash on the floor
The cleanup isn't necessary
apathy breeds on broken things
forgetting that you ever cared at all
then it is finally ok to say
that the time has come
don't mind the cracks
they were there all along
invisible to the eye
but written on the heart and soul
pre-mapped out fracture lines
so when you drop you shatter completely
climb high so you can ensure a good break
shower your paints far and wide
a good twenty foot radius
creates a lovely tapestry
for all the stories that you held inside
and then close your eyes
take a step forward, then two
feeling the cool and quiet harmony
between gritty surface behind
and the soft and beckoning breeze
like the contrast between yesterday's memories
and tomorrow's aimless longings
Lastly, take the plunge before you
dive into currents that are not unlike water
yet carry leaves and aide fragile wings
Remember not to scream as you near the surface
this is what you were made for
so make sure to embrace your release
Written by
AlwaysCaliban
(Caliban)
Published 1st Jul 2013
| Edited 7th Jul 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 2
comments 25
reads 1136
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Release
Anonymous
1st Jul 2013 7:32pm
Nice one. Very descriptive and vivid!
1
re: Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 7:33pm
Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 8:06pm
This one is great. The good simile usage and imagery paints a clear picture in my mind.
1
Re: Release
Anonymous
1st Jul 2013 8:20pm
There's a gorgeous innocence in this poem. I think as big people we tend to overlook the simplest of things as a new beginning.
Philosophical. Made me think.
Thank you for the read.
Philosophical. Made me think.
Thank you for the read.
1
re: Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 9:13pm
Thank you, that is a gorgeous comment. ;)
I'm glad I could provoke some thoughts for you. Thanks for stopping by.
I'm glad I could provoke some thoughts for you. Thanks for stopping by.
Re: Release
I'm pretty sure the aim of this wasn't to make me smile, but I couldn't stop smiling towards the end...... I think I read it wrong :s the first stanza is the heaviest for me, then gets lighter (seemed to me anyways) very good write :)
1
re: Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 9:12pm
Actually, I imagine that is how I wrote it. Not to promote suicide or anything, but maybe casting it in a new light? Hmm, it is how you interpret it, smile away! :)
re: re: Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 10:36pm
It definitely cast it in a new light, took a big step away from the usual 'goodby cruel world' angle that everyone loves to take on suicide.
1
Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 9:26pm
how fragile things are-witty write Caliban...I too thought the first stanza the heaviest...BUT the knowledge gains more as the piece progresses!!!
Excellent Pen!!!
Excellent Pen!!!
1
re: Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 9:29pm
Re: Release
1st Jul 2013 9:49pm
Good poem altogether. what stood out most for me was the third stanza. Love the way it describes that we all as human beings have cracks, kind of our fault lines.
1
Re: Release
2nd Jul 2013 3:46pm
Suicide being portrayed as art is extremely inspirational to me. This draws graphic imagery and emotion within the readers mind. Love the line;
'creates a lovely tapestry
for all the stories that you held inside'
'creates a lovely tapestry
for all the stories that you held inside'
1
re: Re: Release
4th Jul 2013 9:12pm
Re: Release
Anonymous
4th Jul 2013 7:27pm
Beautiful write, for me this is about letting go of things.....Well worded, caliban!
0
re: Re: Release
4th Jul 2013 9:13pm
Re: Release
5th Jul 2013 9:56am
I didnt read the whole poem bt i hav 2 say i like your style of writing
0
Re: Release
7th Jul 2013 8:46pm
I love the way this was worded...the first stanza pulled me right in...very nice :-)
0
re: Re: Release
11th Jul 2013 4:25am
Re: Release
20th Jul 2013 10:33am
Very deep poem.. I love this. You also have some beautiful lines in here, "apathy breeds on broken things" and "pre-mapped out fracture lines" are my favorite.
I agree with the general consensus above, you are really great with imagery and figurative language. Very good write, it was a pleasure to read!
I agree with the general consensus above, you are really great with imagery and figurative language. Very good write, it was a pleasure to read!
0
Re: Release
26th Jan 2015 2:58am
not a typical suicide poem at all. brilliantly written with great uniquely penned lines. excellent write!
0
Re. Release
10th Oct 2015 3:29am