deepundergroundpoetry.com
Little Significance
I never thought these little things
could annoy me in such a way
that I am jealously wishing once again
my eyes were skin-melting laser beams
Is it enough to just sit here and simmer
like a stew wishing it could boil?
or can I get your attention by throwing a glass
at your self righteous face?
If it shatters don't blame me
your weeping cuts would only remind me
of all our smashed aspirations
and any motivation to create new dreams
But I guess you stopped caring a long time ago
all my earnest pleading and soft words
are methodically swept aside
with a cold and passionless touch
That's ok
guess in the end it meant nothing
I should be pretty pleased with myself actually
I saw this coming a long way off
and you know I always like to be right
could annoy me in such a way
that I am jealously wishing once again
my eyes were skin-melting laser beams
Is it enough to just sit here and simmer
like a stew wishing it could boil?
or can I get your attention by throwing a glass
at your self righteous face?
If it shatters don't blame me
your weeping cuts would only remind me
of all our smashed aspirations
and any motivation to create new dreams
But I guess you stopped caring a long time ago
all my earnest pleading and soft words
are methodically swept aside
with a cold and passionless touch
That's ok
guess in the end it meant nothing
I should be pretty pleased with myself actually
I saw this coming a long way off
and you know I always like to be right
Published 11th Jul 2013
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likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 22
reads 911
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Jul 2013 00:06am
Before I get all the "Stay strong girl!" comments, I just wanted to say this is not a love poem.
11th Jul 2013 00:18am
That's ok
guess in the end it meant nothing
I should be pretty pleased with myself actually
I saw this coming a long way off
and you know I always like to be right
Being wrong in cases like this might feel good once in a while, but the signals are just too strong....good call, Coach.
guess in the end it meant nothing
I should be pretty pleased with myself actually
I saw this coming a long way off
and you know I always like to be right
Being wrong in cases like this might feel good once in a while, but the signals are just too strong....good call, Coach.
11th Jul 2013 00:38am
11th Jul 2013 00:25am
Expecting too much (or in some case anything at all) from people is just setting yourself up for a fall, even when those people are the ones meant to love you unconditionally. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed when you get nothing. Cynicism is the new optimism...... Stay strong girl!
11th Jul 2013 00:38am
11th Jul 2013 2:46am
11th Jul 2013 4:01am
<3 thanks. It does suck, but these things just get easier and easier to get over it seems.
11th Jul 2013 3:52am
11th Jul 2013 4:01am
11th Jul 2013 4:04am
pretty decent reading Mis Caliban.
I like the line about the simmering stew wishing it could boil, very good. also the few little inner rhymes worked well and the voice you chose was nicely expressed.
I've nothing for you here by way of constructive critique,only a couple of personal opinions about a few words here and there.
I like the sound of I've, I think it has a nice ring to it, especially at the start of a poem, sometimes I can be very abrupt in comparison. same with I'm rather than I am for some reason.
I think for an added punch of your voice 'Oh! but' might work well before 'That's ok' on the first line of the last stanza.
anyhow, good stuff Caliban, shine on
I like the line about the simmering stew wishing it could boil, very good. also the few little inner rhymes worked well and the voice you chose was nicely expressed.
I've nothing for you here by way of constructive critique,only a couple of personal opinions about a few words here and there.
I like the sound of I've, I think it has a nice ring to it, especially at the start of a poem, sometimes I can be very abrupt in comparison. same with I'm rather than I am for some reason.
I think for an added punch of your voice 'Oh! but' might work well before 'That's ok' on the first line of the last stanza.
anyhow, good stuff Caliban, shine on
11th Jul 2013 4:10am
Anonymous
- Edited 12th Jul 2013 1:03am
12th Jul 2013 00:58am
<< post removed >>
12th Jul 2013 00:59am
Anonymous
12th Jul 2013 8:05pm
This poem caught my eye right away and in my opinion, much is said through the title you chose, little significance,sometimes little means lots and its title indicates a struggle of sorts.
Greatly enjoyed your poem, caliban!
Greatly enjoyed your poem, caliban!
17th Jul 2013 10:09pm
17th Jul 2013 6:44pm
Class as ever. Very similar to the stuff I've been writing recently. I'm going to have a poetry book published on Amazon as a Kindle soon so watch out for that.
Love your stuff
Peace girl...!
Love your stuff
Peace girl...!
14th Aug 2013 8:33am
With every other poem I read here, I am reminded of a song. With this composition I think of a movie. I feel like am watching the death of a relationship like the destruction of the death star in Star Wars!
14th Aug 2013 8:38am
27th Sep 2013 6:33am
Tougher than your older pieces, more personal too. And you've captured that within the metaphors you've laced together, nicely done Caliban. Glad to see you're still writing
27th Sep 2013 6:42am
Really? Thanks. This definitely would not be my highlighting piece. And yes, still writing, just not poetry. And you? still working on the book?
27th Sep 2013 6:47am
Here and there.. It's turning out far different than what I planned before I started it. I've had too many commitments standing in the way and taking up my time, I mainly write prose now. And a little poetry if it feels right
How about yours?
How about yours?
27th Sep 2013 6:50am
