I'm Done

I'm done with you.
you're nothing but trouble.
you took two years of my life away.
how do you think that makes me feel?
everyone was blind?
no one noticed you at all.
I was the only one who knew you were there.

I was invisible because of you.
I had no real friends because of you.
My life was made miserable by you.

The only people who saw me were the bullies that made fun of me.
the people who knew they could use me to get money because i was so naive.

Things didn't get better for me.
You manifested yourself inside of me.
i was transforming into something I didn't want to be.

My name is Gabby.
Your name is depression.
I can't help but think we're one in the same.
you own my mind and body
leaving me holding on to my soul.

You had me doing things I thought I'd never do.
I ran away from home.
I just couldn't handle what you were doing to me.
I stopped going to school
because I couldn't do it with you inside me.
I hung out with drug addicts
because they were the only ones who understood what it was like to have you.
I picked up that silver blade,
and every time it touched my skin I got a sense of relief.

You scared me.
I scared myself too.
I felt done with life.
Every night i went to bed thinking why don't i just end it all?
nobody loves me.
nobody sees me.
nobody even knows your with me.

As an athlete my body was tall and lean.
When you came around that all changed.
Food became a comfort,
and after awhile I put on some weight.
I hated myself and my body.

I was put into therapy,
but not because of our relationship,
but because of some traumatic event,
so I've been told.
you used this particular event to your advantage.
You made me feel worthless,
and everything I did was wrong,
or never good enough.

I was put on medication,
you used that to your advantage.
you made me think there was nothing wrong with me,
and i didn't need it,
so i didn't take it.

It didn't take long till you took full control.
I was now defined by you.
I was no longer Gabby.

I was a lost soul.
There was nobody to catch me.
There was no end within the darkness I lived.

I lived with you in your apartment known as rock bottom for too long.
I battled with you.
I struggled with you,
and I still couldn't get rid of you,
but here I am today to tell you I'm done with you.
I'm taking back my life.

It took awhile and a lot of patience
to find the right people to help me,
and to show me what we had was just a puppeteer show.
i was your puppet.
That's all i ever was.

I stand on this stage today
to tell you i'm serving you with divorce papers.
I ain't never coming back to you.
it's my turn to take control,
i'm putting my foot down.
i'm here to claim victory.

before i go
there's just one more thing i need to say:
i am a survivor.
i beat depression.
i am victorious.