IN ALL THIS MERELY BEING O.K.      

 
 
another phase
     of paused assessing
with and without
     thinking     mostly feelings
guiding intuition
     treading through
its somethings missing
     mystery soup  inside
sneaks up
     in my life again
to stir up     into play
     to settle like some
subtle     atmospheric
     metamorphic cloud
around     throughout
     the still somewhat
off track     surface content
     of these     my current  
day to days
     to pry my awareness
further open
     to remind me
of my truer natures
     innate need for
ever evolving change
     when stale routine
of all else
     decides its finally
had enough     had its fill
     of passively tolerating
all this merely being o k  
     in accepting such
imbalanced discontent
     as i     for so long have
and still do here
     even now     to some degree
though ive always
     drug my feet
for far too long     it seems
     in taking any
necessary action
     more out of some
long held     preconditioned  
     subconscious concern
of dismantling someone elses
     inaccurate misperception
or concrete definition
     of who they think i am
or of who they want
     me to be     for them
wherein i tend
     much more often  
than i should
     to increasingly suffer
the annoying
     ongoing dysfunctions
of their own selfish
     self blinded
backsliding needs
     which only prolongs
only maintains
     the twisted     sacred cow
of their overly controlling
     dis respectively invasive
so called role
     as friends     as superficial
and fair weathered
     as theyve been
rather than to
     champion     celebrate
and honor     that much
     deeper     more essential
yet far too long     neglected
     personal     inner part
of me
     this deeper
innate truth
     in me
my own
     i truly am