it's always a way out

Laying here drenched in sweat
Body still hot and soaking wet
My mind wont stop racing
What future am I facing
One thing I know now is true
Finally am I rid of the likes of you
Long have I been awaiting just the right moment
So many times I rant rave and vent
My dreams so long have been full of pain
One day I was sure I would go insane
The time in pain slowly chips away at you
How will you make it one more day to get through
Every morning I prayed for the end
All morality ready to be put on suspend
The tools are there ready to use
Why should I ever refuse
The timing is everything it has to be right
Never during the daylight it only can happen at night
Now that the deed is finally done
I feel such a release I feel I have won
I hearing the fading  sounds of thunder in my head
I lay back now softly in my bed
All will be made clear when they read what I wrote
I know I emailed to all of you in a very descriptive note
I feel the last gasp coming on now
I feel the cold sweat dripping down my brow
The pain is fading after all I have been through
This is my last goodbye to all of you
The suicide hotline told me to share
So now I am telling you all to be fair
I will never forget what brought me here
It's all now so perfectly clear
If I get to leave now with no more pain
It was all worth it and I am not completely insane