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Unholy Matrimony
They gather together in the pits of hell to join in unholy matrimony Greed and Lust.
A union of sin With evil grins
the groom and bride exchange vows.
Greed-Just as hell is hot just as space is cold I promise
To lay riches at your feet and power in your hands.
Lust-Just as snakes slithers just as rats are disease ridden I promise to fulfill all your sinful desires.
By the powers invested in evil the groom may kiss the bride.
written by Keith Edward Baucum aka The Brown Philosopher aka Red Seven aka The Green Poet
A union of sin With evil grins
the groom and bride exchange vows.
Greed-Just as hell is hot just as space is cold I promise
To lay riches at your feet and power in your hands.
Lust-Just as snakes slithers just as rats are disease ridden I promise to fulfill all your sinful desires.
By the powers invested in evil the groom may kiss the bride.
written by Keith Edward Baucum aka The Brown Philosopher aka Red Seven aka The Green Poet
Published 9th Jun 2013
| Edited 5th Sep 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
10th Jun 2013 5:49pm
10th Jun 2013 8:59pm
10th Jun 2013 6:28pm
10th Jun 2013 9:00pm
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Jun 2013 2:56pm
11th Jun 2013 2:54pm
Firstly, welcome to the site.
In terms of perspective, it's rather hardcore. Not sure if I agree with it, but hey, you have every right to express it.
In terms of writing - the imagery is well presented, so I enjoyed that part. 'greed' and 'lust' don't need capital letters, but 'i' needs to be capitalised.
'silthers' - I'm assuming this is supposed to say 'slithers'
"Lust-Just as snakes silthers just as rats are disease ridden i promise to fulfill all your sinful desires" - 'fulfill' only needs one l. Also the line is quite long, it would seem a good idea to maybe split this line up so it fits with the flow of the rest of the piece. You could also place some commas in there, the pauses would help communicate the piece better, rather than one continuous line.
Thank you for the read.
In terms of perspective, it's rather hardcore. Not sure if I agree with it, but hey, you have every right to express it.
In terms of writing - the imagery is well presented, so I enjoyed that part. 'greed' and 'lust' don't need capital letters, but 'i' needs to be capitalised.
'silthers' - I'm assuming this is supposed to say 'slithers'
"Lust-Just as snakes silthers just as rats are disease ridden i promise to fulfill all your sinful desires" - 'fulfill' only needs one l. Also the line is quite long, it would seem a good idea to maybe split this line up so it fits with the flow of the rest of the piece. You could also place some commas in there, the pauses would help communicate the piece better, rather than one continuous line.
Thank you for the read.
11th Jun 2013 4:22pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Oct 2022 2:45pm
12th Jun 2013 2:23pm
<< post removed >>
12th Jun 2013 3:12pm
Yeah thats what i was going for people enter into relationships for all the wrong reasons
Like for financial gain and so caught up in a person looks
Theres an old saying that says money marries money
They dont marry out of love
Dont get me wrong when you first meet someone the first thing you see is appearance
But would you stay with your mate if they lost their looks or money
Like for financial gain and so caught up in a person looks
Theres an old saying that says money marries money
They dont marry out of love
Dont get me wrong when you first meet someone the first thing you see is appearance
But would you stay with your mate if they lost their looks or money
