The blocked

I block it all,

My eyes are a dam blocking a flood of empty dreams,hopes and the experiences of a past life,

I am fine around other people but it is at night that I find my mind become a sweatshop of worrisome thoughts that drag on till I have no energy left to stay awake,

I know that if I cry my body soon will quake with weakness that I have long since exposed,

My friends have a very faint idea of how i feel and the how bad my heart can really ache,

I hate this icy dagger in my chest that has been placed there by the last phantom of my past which leads me to wear this fake smiley like a nicely fitting glove,

Maybe someone else can come into my heart and so me what they called "love"