Lost and Found

I don't think I can understand myself anymore
Understand why nothing ever seems to work right
Why relationships just fall apart
Why I'm always scared of the end right from the start
Maybe I'm just scared of love
Scared that it opens you up so much
Least I made some friends
But I need more than a friend
Maybe I've just been hurt so much before
Hurt myself instead of walking through the door
Why every once in a while I feel so alone
When someone is right there in front of me
But I can't reach them
Why I can't trust right away or open up right away
But how do you tell someone the truth
That you want nothing more than to be with them
But unless they say the same thing back
I'm stuck, falling through the black
I'm trying to make a change in myself
But I just need an opportunity
For someone just to look into my eyes
And not assume I'm just some overly shy person
That there's a wildfire hiding behind my eyes
A mountain with treasure on top in my heart
A beautiful sunset in my mind
Things you have to explore to find
Maybe they will be found one day
Maybe they already have but the person is like me
Scared