Ugly Grace

What ugly grace
Well fucking ace
I drunk the case
& spewed forth
A surly debase
Upon this page

In wet splodges
I forget no one wants it
So I climb into my clock
To kill the time I got left
Drain & drink the blood
Bruised on the brink
Of love & death
I don’t love you any less
I just hate myself
I’m “depressed”

What ugly grace
Of a shrouded gaze  
I entered the maze
To find it fixed in its place
You locked the gates
Behind me in hate

I just stumble round the labyrinth
Mumbling sounds drenched in
Dressed in an abstinence of ego
Veiled & abstract mayhap
still intact appearing anemic  
Why is it I am read as asemic
I scribble yes but I thought
I spied a ripple
I thought I found
some middle ground
A sickly riddle that only
Hindered the visions

What ugly grace
Spilled onto this blank page
The white screen
I am nothing but a boy
Nothing but white noise  
 The blackness in the words
Contrasted absurdly
with the concept I was
worthless
Shaking during my first kiss
with mortality dancing with
declivity & it’s fits of insanity so riveting
  Tongue tied between cavities & yellow teeth
I bite down harder, I start to bleed
words now, they’re leaking out
Things I never speak about out loud
roused from the spitefulness
Of resisting making any sound