AT A LOSS      

   
what is life          
       what is love          
what is truth          
       anymore          
the faded colors          
       of that one          
rare love  which        
       i once shared          
still missing now          
       still longing so          
still grieving here          
       for what much        
too briefly was          
       for seven          
bright months          
       perhaps          
the greatest joy          
       my life has          
ever known          
       its not just          
the sad  sad          
       loss  of such          
a deep  deep            
       love  i mourn          
here now          
       but rather          
the even          
       greater loss          
of that unique          
       rare friend          
which you            
       once were          
that even          
       here today          
i miss and          
       still cant seem          
to quite forget          
       no matter          
how hard          
       i try    
that i profoundly          
       still regret          
and continue          
       to suffer            
here  still yet          
       so hard to          
let go of    
       to move on    
beyond        
       our now deleted        
once hallowed        
       past          
all hollowed out          
       sunken within        
its broken hearts         
       still deep  open          
gaping wound          
       stuck here now          
in all this          
       vacant emptiness          
left by the          
       sudden shock          
and devastating          
       blow  of such          
a hard boned            
       loss  from whence          
this heavy  still          
       lingering sadness          
has oh so            
       coldly come          
now  here later          
       nine months on          
some aspects          
       of its bitter          
bone deep wound          
       have still not          
fully healed          
       nor left me          
here  as yet                  
       even though          
i pray and          
       trust  that one          
day  some day          
       sooner or later          
hopefully sooner          
       but even sooner          
wont be nearly          
       soon enough          
when all these  
       memories  
of my loss  
       will all together  
finally cease          
       to come
to taunt    
       nor haunt
me any
       further    
as their faded            
       still lingering  
ghosts  will  
       i hope  
at long last          
       finally  quickly            
and quietly              
       all completely    
simply just          
       dissolve away  
from me  
       to never return
nor come back
       to me  
to further
       grieve  
my slowly
       healing  
long broken  
       heart  
no more    
       at all