You asked me why.

You asked me why I wanted to die today. And I looked at you and wanted to reply with something witty, something that would make you think twice and wanted to save me;  but i didn't.
Today I wanted to die and I had no really dramatic reasons why. Besides the rape.

Today was supposed to be like any other day. Work, school and home. Tedious, tired routines that have defined my life for so long.  But today I thought it would be fun to try something new. To walk to your house and try to surprise you.  

But go figure the day I try to surprise you I catch your sorry ass in the middle of another one of your fucking lies. When I asked  you where you are and you told me you are  home, I was ignited inside. Today was going to be the day I was going to give my virginity away.

But instead I got to your house and knocked on your door. And I waited. and waited and waited.  I called your phone over and over again. I knew you weren't there.  

So I waited. And when you pulled up in your god awful car, I was stunned to see that fucking whore of an ex girlfriend in the passanger seat.

And it was in that moment that my heart stopped and dropped into my lower stomach and I couldn't breathe. But I held back the tears so that she wouldn't see.  I was so angry today. I thought you loved me. I was going to give you my everything.

As I walked back home out of your ghetto neighborhood, the cat calls coming from every angle I walked. I should have expected something like this too happen, since I was wearing my hottest outfit that would have made you blush.

What I didn't expect was to be grabbed from behind and dragged into the woods. And raped. Just like that.

There is not nicer way to put it, but i will avoid all the details because it hurts to think about.

Today was supposed to be a special day, where I was going to give you all of me. But you didn't deserve me, and now there is no me left to give. It has been taken away from me. Stolen. Just like that.

You asked me why I wanted to die today, when they told you they found me in the tub. Wrists slit from my finger tips and up.  You tried to act innocent, but you can't lie to me anymore. And you can't have me because I am not yours. And I won't ever be anyones because I am no longer me. Purity is gone and he took all the good that was left in me.

Today has been hell, but I guess I'd better get used to it. Or I'm going to end up like your stupid fucking Ex, and try to get back together with you.