"Possessed"

I tried to be good to veer from evil
like the antichrist i was stabbed by the steeple
why does it feel real good to be bad?
doing shit that makes me happy,why others be sad
this is why i never gave a damnz
a damnz 'bout any damnz body
not even my damnz famz
i hear voices from the grave
convincing me to always misbehave
tell a lie here tell a lie there
lies lies lies do i really care?
natas is a deciever christ is a believer
sometimes i feel possessed,demon conciever
if a bytch tells you i'm wicked ya best believe her
i say sh*t to shock the weak
i do sh*t to prove i am unique
never do i need to prove i know the streets
task me i may cut off ya feet
eternal damnation is what you seek
well come on down i have what you need
i don't trust you or no damn body
i don't do these things to please you,only me
you say f**k me i say f**k you
i know that you know there ain't sh*t you can do
dare to step? box cutter slices your neck
you think not,i'll take that bet
no need to hold anything back at this time
i admit i get excited when writing this rhyme
when i spit it's hell you all shall get
no need to throw a fit
all you can do is take this sh*t and sit
you read this cause you see this
all this wickedness no where to hide from this
ain't life a bytch?
take me to my grave
No no no no no no no no no
i can't allow natas to infiltrate my heart
not now not ever
i had it all,i let natas in,so i lost it all
many jobs,a wife,my sanity
i was headed for the big fall
too late i already fell
family and friends gone away
i used to know what i wanted
nowadays i don't know what the f**k i wanted
day after day i ask god when do i get to pass on and leave this earth?
when lord when? whens gon' be my time?
i see no light only pure darkness
i see no life only me livin' waiting to die
it's tooo late for me only death can set me free
my lord,my god i commend my spirit to thee
hour after hour i feel my soul seep away
my anger and losses have made me this way
it's not easy for me to express myself
i admit i fantasize about offin' myself
god forgive me
i put no blame on noone else
i put all blame and pity on myself
there is no hope for a low life bastard like me
there is only mental stress and a feeling of blissful insanity
never can i remember when i was last happy
well,if you count the temporary feeling of happiness
after i jerked off and on the floor went my demon filled semen.
numb to this way of life
numb to life as well as my upcoming death
liver failure will be my cause of death
painfull it shall be at my death
everybody says ya gotta have somethin' to believe in
everybody can just go f**k themselves
it's none of their business who or what i believe in
i will say this though,
i believe in god thats it
all that other materialistic stuff don't mean sh*t
lord forgive me for every wicked thought
forgive me for plotting,thinking i'd never be caught
will my l-o-r-d forgive me?
i feel deep in my h-e-a-r-t,my l-o-r-d will forgive me
whatever punishment i get i deserve
i just pray for happiness,eternal bliss
and to truly,faithfully,my g-o-d to serve
i feel like i'm losing my mind
heaven is never hard to find
mental stress has me on the grind
in the end is when i get what i want
always in the end
i notice my breaths are getting shorter
i feel my death may soon come.
heart attack? could be........