Forgiven

This is the the strength of what it takes
Brings on most powerful tears
You'll soon find out what it takes
To bring true, this man's fears

You damaged me young
And spun my mind askew
In time you fucked my mind
And broke me through and through

Damage done once, young me totally unknowing
12 years later, damage thoroughly showing
But I had a kid, and started a family
As an adult, there's nothing you can do to me
To break me more, than you have already done
Then I introduce you to my first legitimate son
And the two I adopted, and my beautiful wife
Biggest mistake I'll ever make,
In my humble little life
For reasons unknown, selfish I assume
You called protective services and had my kids removed

Let me break this down in laymens terms
Cause a bullet to the brain is what you almost earned
In my youngest years,
In my fantasies and my dreams
The only thing I'd see is my wife and my kids
My own family
My minnie me dream team
Through the many years,
Thats all I ever wanted in life
But you caused nothing but strife
For me and my saint of a wife

We loved our kids hard
Spoiled them to say the least
But then our son was born, terminally ill
With the stress we just prayed for release
Though we got him meds, precious still fell ill

Then you came to my fam
And I'll be damned
You thrashed and trashed my pod
Smoked and cashed my tight knit family
Damn near sending me
To the loony bin academy

A little insight
from a man in torment
To a woman looking for a fight
700 miles separating us
I think it saved your life
You see what I wanted to do
Was super slow and torturous
A fast death to such a soul
You didn't deserve it and certainly didn't earn it
I wanted to cut your belly
And pull your skin up over your head
And watch you suffocate slowly
I'd watch until you were dead
I wished all pain and torment
Upon your wicked soul
Grey hair thick upon my chin
Your deeds, they took their toll

You ran your mouth and did what you did
Ripped like my heart from my chest
The state kidnapped our kids
2years of torment jumping hoops and taking their shit
We fought a good fight and did what we could
In the end we stand broken
And it did us no good

Because of your word my family was in tatters
And my tight knit family
Was strewn out and scattered
Weak weary and thrashed
At night when I lay down to crash
The only thoughts that I thought were how to get even

"BITCH, I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR DEATH
TO SHIT ON YOUR HEAD STONE!!!"
Screams of torture and pain in my head,
"LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

The weight of regrets
And thoughts of "What if?"
My hairs turning grey
I need peace and release
From my prison cell of regret
Peace of mind would be a gift

But then one day
My queen of a wife offered me solis
"Put yourself in her shoes
Then ponder thoughts of what if"
"My poor man, with his tortured soul...
What tormented your mom
That she couldn't leave you whole?"

Then thoughts of Anne, her crazy ass mom
She messed my mom's thoughts
As she had mine
At that point, this man made up his mind
Like a weight lifted
A ton at least
The forgiveness I felt
Caged up this vengeful beast
The relief and release
From a lifetime of grief

The relax I felt
From a deeply serious hurt
Makes it hard man
To shop for a shirt
For deep in my chest
Straight to my soul
Dug massive in my chest
An ungodly deep hole
Ever uncovered
For lack of a shirt
To pull over my head
And cover my hurt

It hurt like a mother fucker
Cause I'll never again have my mother
While her shenanigans are forgiven
She's better 700 miles away
Where she's been living
Kept at arms reach,
Never to trust, but always forgiven...