Silent thoughts

sadness
the memories
of sheer dreadfulness
fills me with such fear
I am frozen in time
never changing for better

a tear
maybe just one
might send me back
so i must prevent
ALL thoughts
i cannot go back!
i will NOT get sucked
in again!

oh my vices
my sins
how they grow by day
i cannot deny myself
out of fear
...soon i will pay

just a hint
a whisper in my mind
then the world on my shoulders
and i feel
ready to drown

I cannot bear...

must be positive...

I'd gotten so good
at keeping thoughts
at bay

...I CANNOT..!
I WILL NOT
let thoughts resurface.
Instead I will sleep..
My hero.
who had rescued me.
every. night.
... until now.